Totally Lost Without You

  I know It's only been two days since I'd seen you, but I can't stop thinking 'bout you. In everything I do, you always pop out in my head. I can't help myself. It craves for your presence. We might be communicating but that's not enough.
  For these past few days, I can't sleep well. I'm acting weird stuffs like eating too much junks and waking up on midnights. I can't even think clearly and I can't stop imagining things about us. I guess these are just effects of our separation.
  I know this is kinda silly 'cause we're only apart for a week but I can't really bear this. I want to shout until my voice is gone, I want to cry until I'm all dried out and I want to run until I'm all worn out, just to be with you again. I want to be in your arms again, to be with you where I truly belong. But time just isn't our friend. I can't be with you right now. All I can do is sit here, mumble silly things, let all my anxiety out, and daydream about you.
  I've never really felt like this before. I'm starting to break down into pieces. I don't even know myself anymore. You might think I'm an Emo, but I'm not. It's just that, I really really want to be with you or just even catch a glimpse of you. I love you so much and I can't handle things without you anymore. You've become a part of me, a part that gives me strength to hold on to life.
  Oh! I really miss you! How I wish I could be with you right now, spending time together doing nothing but enjoying every moment of it. Seriously, I don't think I can manage to survive a week without seeing you.
  Unfortunately, I have to fight through this heartaches. 'Cause I know somewhere at the end, I'll be seeing you again wearing that beautiful smile that makes my heart pound so fast, giving me the strength to live again. I LOVE YOU!

Back with blogging?. . . . I think so

Is it just me or am I blogging again?? Oh, right. I'm blogging again--result of total boredomness. Before, we were so excited 'bout Sem break, but now, we're so excited 'bout being back to school. Hahayp. How could life be so cruel sometimes.
So, for those who are following me here, I might be blogging until school's back--in other words, for one week. ^_^ Boredom's killing me and I have no choice but to express what I feel. :)
Special mentions:
Cousin Dale and Lola Kim, thanks for following me. :)
Baby bear, thanks for inspiring me to blog again. I might enjoy this for a while and this could probably entertain me while I get lonely here. ^_^
P.S: Sorry if I'm not that good with this kind of thing. I'm still an amateur. haha!

Stop talking that "blah.blah.blah"

 Okay, I know that's a song but it's kinda related to my day. You see, I was in  front of this many people, talking like they never heard me. They kept on blabbering and doing unnecessary things; they're so obnoxious I must say and it's making me sick! They never know how it feels to talk when no one is listening; it hurts a lot you know. I never wanted to be a leader to them but they were the ones who chose me. Tsk! Why can't they show just a little bit of respect? Is that too much to ask?
 Well, the truth is, I was really expecting a lot from them because I believed they can easily understand and they wanted to win. I didn't think they would act in such a childish way when in fact, they are already teenagers. Come to think of it, I'm starting to give up handling their attitudes. They can't even say "sorry" and give their best during practices. Did you get what I mean? They're focusing too much of having fun and don't care about what will be the outcome of their actions.
 I'm not forcing our group to win, I just want them to give their best so that even we won't be winners, we can make our dearest adviser proud. I'm not even stopping them to be happy with their useless lives, I want them to have fun but at the same time be serious of what they're doing.
 Today was our last chance to practice, and they made me really angry of what they did. They kept ignoring what I say and as usual, some are eating, some are roaming around and some are playing gadgets. What the hell is wrong with today's generation? It can't be genes or something. Well, I know I can't change them; they'll have to change by their own.
 I know if I won't talk to them ever again is bad, so I'll just maybe extend my patience and accept the fact that that's what they are. As what I believe, I'm not responsible for their actions, they are. I'm never gonna waste my tears over them, they're not worth it.
 But I hope I'll see some change and we'll be able to make our show successful. Now, I look haggard with all this preparations but it's okay, I'll still do my best for them. Well, I think I've shared enough. I'm too tired to think and it's almost my curfew. Good night and sleep tight guys!

Oh, Crap! I'm In love(Part 2)

 Okay, I'm back. Today was really tiring with these practices and activities going on; got a lot of things to do! Well, I'm here again to tell you about the "love" thingy. I can't get it out of my head; I think it's stuck there forever. haha! Surely this would be the end part of my story. I don't want to talk too much about it, you might think I'm so obsessed.
 Today, I saw him(Mr. Right) again, not just in school but I was actually hanging out with him somewhere here but not in school(there were no classes then). Can you believe that? Me with him? How nice right? Well, I was able to talk to him and joked around. He's really so cute and I wan't to pinch his red cheeks all the time--but I can't. You see, it would be so unusual if I pinch his face a couple of times and laugh to myself; people would think I'm crazy. So I stopped myself for thinking such a thing and focused on the fact that I was really there with him! Oh my gosh! It really makes me feel like I'm walking down the aisle, with him at the end, waiting for me--just imagining things, you know me, so imaginative.
 'Til then, I was able to share smiles with him. We both laughed at each other many times and guess what? I stared into his eyes and again, my heart was pounding in my chest faster than usual. You might think I'm crazy but I confess, I think I really am going crazy: crazy for him. But no need to put me in the mental hospital okay? I might go crazier there living with people who has mental disorders or something. No offense.
 Then, as what I've said we shared smiles and it made me so happy and contented: contented with my day because it's now complete. It payed off my exhaustion and all, and it was really worth it.
 Because of what happened today, I realized only him can make me smile that way and erase all those worries of mine. No one has ever made me feel like that and I think he's the one and the ONLY one who can do it. Sometimes I worry that someday he might leave me or I may not be able to see him again because I think I can't handle it; I might go crazy and die. But if this would happen, I think I should accept it, set him free and move on; that's how heartbroken people do right? "To forgive and to forget", that's how they say it.
 So, I've promised myself that even if time may change, my feelings for him would never ever change; like I said before, my heart ONLY beats for him and that's final. I guess that's it. Maybe if I have the chance to spend another time with him, I might post it here. Thanks a lot and hope you guys would have your own happy love life!

Oh, Crap! I'm In love(Part 1)

 Shocked with the title? Me either. Haha! I didn't expect I would think of such title. Well, might as well go on and continue to speak, speak, speak. Oh! I mean type, type, type. Haha!
 Yes, I admit that, I think, I'm in love; not just any ordinary love but the kind of love where you need the person because you love him/her and you can't live without him/her(I know it's kinda corny but it's true). In fact, I really, really miss him right now even though I just saw him and spoke to him today. The thing is, I want to talk to him every time but my body won't let me; my nature of being shy takes over. I guess there would be a right time for us to really talk to each other without feeling awkward and without being tongue-tied.
 Well, I can't say his name because it's "censored", so I'll just name him as "Mr. Right". haha! I'm really having fun here. I'll describe him okay. He's tall, dark and handsome. Just kidding: with the "dark" part. Hmmm. Yeah, he's tall(very tall) and handsome too but not dark, he's as white as a snow, for me that is. He's the kind of person who is very outgoing to those people close to him and he's also a gentleman. He doesn't act like some other boys do, he's fun to be with specially when he makes faces--it's so damn funny--and, he's so cute! haha!I think if you'll meet him, you'll definitely like him.
 But someday, somehow, I'll be able to be comfortable when he's around. Awkwardness. We all know every relationship starts with this right? Well, at least now we can talk to each other even just for a while and I'm able to stare at his eyes even just for a few seconds.
 I feel that there's this something in his eyes that makes my heart beat faster like a drum hit many times. It's like my heart knows when he's near and staring at me because it starts to beat faster. I guess this does mean that my heart only beats for him(again, corny but true).  
 Well, that's all for now. I'm tired of all the general cleaning we went through. haha! I'll share more of this Mr. Right the next time I'll blog. Thanks and good night!

A Unique Mom

We all have unique moms right? We can't say my mom is better than yours or your mom is better than mine. Somehow our moms are unique in their own way; some are good chefs, some can even be a dad at the same time or some are just simple moms.

Mothers are very special in our lives. They are the ones who gave birth to us, the ones who took care of us and most specially the ones who will mold us to be a better person. Maybe some of you don't like your mom but me, i definitely love her with all my heart even though sometimes we have misunderstandings.

For me, my mom can be considered as a "tanging ina", you know why? Because she was able to raise me and my big brother by herself. She was strong enough to work 24/7 just to see us well-provided with our needs. She never let herself lose hope though our lives had been covered with dark clouds and amazingly, she managed to become both our dad and our mom.

I've seen her cry many times and every teardrop breaks my heart bit by bit. I'm disappointed that I can't help her with her problems all the time because I really want to repay her for all the things she has done for me; from the day I was born up to now.

As you see, she has always been a very supportive and loving mother. She is and will always be my inspiration and as a daughter, i'll do anything for her. You know, just seeing her smile makes me feel very happy: happy that even just for a moment she has enjoyed her life as a free person. I know that behind her smiles are hundreds of problems and how I wish that I could help her but I believe that she can handle all these things because after all, she is a very strong woman and does have a strong faith in God. Though I may not help her with these problems, I'll make her happy in my own simple ways.

To be honest, we also have misunderstandings but we are able to resolve it in just a matter of time. As a mother, she acts very over-protective but I understand her for that because what kind of mother wants her child to take the wrong turn, right?

Now, she still works as a government employee and in order to provide us with the things we need she has to be separate from us every weekdays. She works to a 2-hour drive city from our home and she needs to be there for the whole week; though she comes home every friday to spend her weekend with us. In fact, she just left this morning and went to work. Oh! How I miss her cuddles and her hugs already, that when I have the chance to spend another time with her I'll really make sure it's worthwhile. But even if she's not always beside me, I know she's always behind my back ready to support me anytime and though she's far away from us, I understand the reason why: that is to make a living and be able to make sure that we can reach our goals in the near future.

You see, you guys are lucky if you have your mom always there beside you at all times and even if they scold you, just put in your mind that they're doing this because they love you and what they're saying is for your own good. If I were you, I would really say "I love you" to her every minute and make her feel that she wouldn't have to think of her problems anymore because we have each other. She is after all, your unique mom!